I grew up a Catholic. I was always really obsessed with Jesus. As I got older, I always felt this attraction to follow Jesus. I was a bit of a crank. It drove me to really get delusional on the words of the New Testament bible verses about Jesus. I never really read Acts or any of the other books, but I sure did read the Gospels. Even while at a treatment center, I spent my time trying to get Jesus to come back since I really believed that Jesus was going to come back at some point – i.e., an end of the world. I always hoped that I would meet Jesus. Then, things changed. I became a follower of Rabbis and had a Jewish lens on scripture. Funny, because I never really read the entire Tenak or Bible. But, I did like a certain number of books from the Bible such as Isaiah, Jeremiah, and others. Now that I know I am not a bit Jewish, I just decide to read the Tenak on my own terms and without any set structure of beliefs. I like it, it is good.
I don’t understand it though. I was a crank – eccentric about Jesus for the longest time. While I was at Catholic mass, I noticed that I was the only 20 something year old and most of the people were families. It is strange to me now because I do not go to Catholic mass or even try to follow “Jesus” anymore. I do not even believe that Jesus is GOD.
Do not get me wrong. I do not want to disrespect a man’s life, who died an extremely horrible way and may have risen from the dead, i.e.. Jesus. Please, I am not trying to be disrespectful, but I just do not believe in following the New Testament and a lot of Paul’s writings that I have read are somewhat, well, anti-something.
But I was a crank about Jesus and the Gospels. I had a good run of that faith for a while