Mental Health and me

What is mental illness?

The American Psychiatric Association states that mental illness is a disruption in how a person functions in the aspects of thinking, emotions, and or behavior. This can include problems with functioning at work, socially, or in family activities.

My mental illness began a while ago. If you are like me then you probably felt like you Overdosed on drugs and your body was trying to recover, as well as your brain trying to recover. I had symptoms that are hard to describe – probably much like an overdose of a drug. My brain shut down and I could not think right. My brain took me from a brain that was functioning to one where I was in a demented state. Instead of having a conversation, my brain took me to a place where everything that was mentioned had an underlying meaning of something else, and it took me to a place sometimes where I was barely responsive to people’s ideas and thoughts. I was combative and sometimes unresponsive- like a dream-like state. 

Talk of Family Guy, the Television show, really had significance. My brain seemed to shut down and I could not function in having a conversation. People would talk to me and my response was one where I would not respond. The symptoms disappeared but would often come back.

Everything seemed normal for a while. Then Symptoms

If you are like me then you probably have been to a treatment facility that specializes in mental health and drug disorders. I am prescribed certain medications and I was prescribed medications at the treatment facility. First, I was already taking what is called invega sustenna which is a shot. At the treatment facility I was prescribed sertraline as well. I had some issues with the sertraline and I told the Psychiatrist at the treatment facility that it was not a good medication for me. I also suffered so badly when the Psychiatrist prescribed me the shot of invega sustenna and then prescribed invega pill form on top. I had what you call akesthesia which at the time was a restlessness due to the psych med and the inability to think right. The definition puts it perfectly which is agitation, distress, and restlessness

Later, Did I nearly die? Or, was it just mental illness?

It was like an attack on my whole body, but it is actually just my brain most likely. I had to skip the last three weeks of school back in 2016 because of mental illness although I think that it was more of a problem of smoking cigarette butts that got into contact with pest control chemicals. It was fatigue and malaise…my body felt under attack like I inhaled pest control chemicals. I was getting severe headaches that would only go away by taking a Butalbitol or something. I would bathe and shake as I got into the hot bath tub back then. My brain was shutting down and my body was in pain.

Are Symptoms back? Just briefly some symptoms came back, but now I take blood pressure medication. I went into the doctors on duty, and now I am taking a blood pressure medication which is helping me a lot. I have only taken the medication for about a week. I feel a lot more chill.

As things change for me, now I worry that I have to take extra precaution when it comes to school and work. I wonder whether writing a review on yelp has the potential to activate the symptoms of fatigue and pain that I had in 2016-2017. To clear that up, I wrote a review on yelp and a little bit while later, I had the symptoms of fatigue and pain throughout the body like I had inhaled pest control chemicals. As per mental illness, that part of me is not as it was where I would get into a demented state, but rather I am realizing that any change in thinking or emotion or behavior is tied to whether or not my mental health is good or not…at least it seems that way. In effect, I am realizing based on the information from American Psychiatric Association that based on my thinking, emotions, and behavior, any change can activate pain and less functioning. Is it likely? I sure hope that it is not likely. I mean who would want to live in a state that allowed any confrontation or problem to be felt in a way that it feels like the body and brain shuts down because of a dilemma or problem.

However, it is the will of the psychiatrist to limit the activity of any person that struggles with any symptoms. Most likely, if you are experiencing issues, then taking one less class or working part-time is what the psychiatrist will say to do instead of working full-time or going to school full-time. At least if you are not medically able to do so. Most likely, a psychiatrist might want their patient to do limited activity because the psychiatrist is worried that any little change/issue escalates symptoms. I do not know how that really affects me, but I think that being busy and being an active member of society [paying taxes, working, going to school] is the best thing for someone who struggles in the ways of having to take medications and visit psychiatrists’ every month or so. For me, being busy through work and being an active member of society is probably the best thing to curb the constant psychiatrist visits, therapy, and spending time at the pharmacy to get medications. Social support would also be the greatest thing to help anyone who struggles in the ways of dealing with psychiatry and psychology. At least I think so.

As I take the psychiatric medication, I really had to keep working with a Psychiatrist in order to find what medication would work for me. I have been to four or five Psychiatrists now. I started with risperdol, but risperdol numbed me in the sense that I felt slow and not with it. Now I am with Vraylar which seems to help. Symptoms, symptoms, symptoms…

 What is your mental health like?

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